Grief Primer
Grief Primer

Grief Primer

I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say that we are all in a state of grief right now, whether or not we’ve lost someone close to us. Humans grieve all sorts of losses, not just the loss of life: loss of freedom, independence, roles, things, ideas, relationships, and function. Loss of ignorance, too, and the innocence it confers. Compounding all the losses the pandemic has brought to bear, we’re also losing the veneer of justice that we’ve so wanted to be real, but wasn’t. Living life means facing a cascade of loss, a dynamic that this historic moment has especially intensified.

June 26, 2020

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BJ Miller
We're All Afraid. Here's How to Cope.
We're All Afraid. Here's How to Cope.

We're all afraid. Here's how to cope.

When you think about the end of your life, due to COVID or any cause, would you say you’re afraid? Sad? Curious, confused, or numb? Maybe you find it hard to ponder your own death at all, and that’s not surprising; it’s a very tricky thing for the mind—the tool through which all of life as you’ve known it flows—to imagine the world without you in it. Every emotion under the sun comes into play when contemplating mortality. But among them, none is more deeply rooted than fear.

June 22, 2020

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BJ Miller
How to Get An Advance Healthcare Directive Done During Covid
How to Get An Advance Healthcare Directive Done During Covid

Don't Have an Advance Healthcare Directive? Here's How To Get it Done During COVID

On my way home from having lived abroad, I lost my advance healthcare directive. I’d taken the small saddle stitched packet with its mustard yellow cover along with me to nine countries, and then on one last stop, while bunking at my sisters, it vanished. I searched every corner of every box. It was gone.

That was last summer.

June 15, 2020

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BJ Miller
Two things you can’t avoid: Death and the Holidays
Two things you can’t avoid: Death and the Holidays

Two things you can’t avoid: Death and the Holidays

It happens every year: While the world adorns itself in tinsel and twinkling light, many of us feel dimmed by loss. The data shows that the holidays are the most common time of year to die, so chances are, you or someone you know is grieving. And feeling like you can’t gin up the holiday cheer can make the holidays a lonely, alienating time.


That’s certainly true for Dr. BJ Miller, and Shoshana Berger, authors of A Beginner’s Guide to the End, who share their experiences with death and the holidays and offer some tips for how to cope.

Dec 27, 2019

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BJ Miller
Q&A With The Star Tribune
Q&A With The Star Tribune

Q&A With The Star Tribune

Q: You two met when Shoshana was reeling from the death of her father, after having served as his caregiver. How did that experience inspire the book?

Shoshana: My sister and I ended up literally sitting down at the computer in the room where my father lay cold, and Googling, “What do you do when someone dies?”

Dec 3, 2019

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BJ Miller